I am ashamed of the number of calls I don’t answer in a day. Honestly I’m a bad person, no horrible one. Not that it pricks my conscious but it’s not my fault I got phone anxiety. At the end of the day when I look the messages I’ve ignored and my call list, it makes me feel less satisfied before I sleep, thus leading to apology messages and again apologizing for the late message. Thinking about it now, what if it’s an emergency or maybe a prank call. The only emergency call I’d get ever is when Ghouls are real and the investigators are on the look out for them, basically when the anime Tokyo Ghoul comes alive, I would consider that as an emergency call. I would be the last person my family would call at a time of an emergency. I’m not kidding. My contact is not even on their speed dial. Gibber jabber, gibber jabber…
There was this one time when my schoolmate enquired about our portions for our exam the coming week. She phoned my number twice in the afternoon, I was asleep. A reasonable excuse. But later, she phoned while I was watching an episode of Fairy tail, I got so nervous that I hid the phone under my cushion. Brrr brrr brrr brrr, again and again. I was in my own tell-tale, the noise made me feel guilty and nervous. I waited for it to stop, and then I sent her a super quick message asking her what’s the matter and that I’m busy at a family prayer, an odd feeling of guilt crept over me but then a sense of satisfaction pushed it aside,Message sent. A wave of relief carries me and I float in sea of joy. Brrr brrr, “Sarah. I need the lessons for our chemistry test. Just let me know what she marked in class”, My sea of happiness turned out to be a plain old wave pool. Brrr brrr brrr brrr, I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I put my phone on airplane mode and I couldn’t care less. I knew I’d see her the next morning in class and there’s no rush either. I leave my unreachable phone aside, finish my episode of Fairy tail, feeling content and relieved, though the guilt had clung on my shoulders, I couldn’t care less. As I was walking towards the kitchen to get a bowl of chocos, my usual snack for the evening, later leading to a large mug of coffee. A routine I still follow, but now there’s more than just a large mug of coffee, more coffee.
Chirrrrrrp chirp chirp chirp, the annoying sound of my doorbell. I look up at the clock, 9:40 PM. Who would come to see us at this hour, calling out to my brother that he has a visitor, probably. I mean, kids those days. They just cannot get enough of those card games, so I walk to the door, open it.
She’s there. And she doesn’t look happy. I don’t look happy and unfortunately I couldn’t make a run for it either. Times like this how I wish they cut the electricity. Standing there dumbfounded, I smile at her, signaling her to come in, not knowing whatelse I could do. She walks in and plonks herself on my couch. I run to my room, then realising that she’s my neighbor from the apartment next to mine. How could I forget that! How! I gave her the list of the portions and shared my bowl of chocos as a compensation.